Tag Archives: breath

2012 Self-programming evidence when learning a new language

In this blog I will briefly describe my recent observations of learning a third language. It has been an interesting experience so far, not because I have a rather easy and fun time learning it, which is yet another point, but rather because for the first time I am aware of how personality construction is tied to language. I can see how I would have done this as a small child when I learned my mother tongue and did not realise what self-programming meant at that time. I have a different perspective now. One, where I understand that my personality behaviour is driven by my ego which takes every single situation of interaction with others as grounds for distortion through means of manipulation, deception and sabotage – all in accordance with my personality. I say ‘my’ ego, and that is already the indication for me to stop right here: my ego and I are one as I am the one who accepts this behaviour. After all, this is the reason why I am taking part in the DesteniIProcess because I want to step out of the mental existence driven by ego, and and be here as the living word- as Self.

What I have realised is the following. I learn words and grammar of the language that I am learning through interactions with my teacher in class, other students, and through doing my homework.  In my daily life, I apply what I have learned in the context of speaking with others who are native speakers. There is usually a discrepancy between what I want to say and what I can say at my current level of learning. What I mean is that I do not have all the grammar and words to express what I would like to say to others. This is already quite curious because that which I want to say exists somewhere, as part of me, but not in already formed words.  It is the stage before I form a phrase, before I speak from mind – but I cannot say where that place is, per say. I realise that our habitual procedure of speaking, when speaking in one’s mother tongue, speeds up the process that I am experiencing in slowness, and that once one speaks fluently, when one has mastered the language, one cannot even recall these ‘in-between’ places where only self-expression exists without words.

Here is another observation: at this time I can only speak in the present tense. Therefore I can only reference or communicate to someone else what is happening with me or the world around me right now, in this moment. It is seemingly a limitation but when looking at it more closely I have noticed that speaking about the past becomes less relevant. When one cannot describe one’s life experience in the past tense and only in the present tense, the familiar petty aspects of story telling, the character definition of others, the energetic undertone that can come with past tense telling is absent. What stays when communicating the past in the present tense is the pattern that is emergent from our past, and that can be communicated in the present tense. I find this quite supportive because it highlights my behavioural patterns more clearly. I see more clearly what I have accepted and allowed to be me.

All these observations are facilitated by being slowed down through the nature of learning to speak in another language. Also, there is no possibility for me to momentarily go into mind-time and speed up my speaking participation. By having slowed down to the degree that I have as I am becoming the embodied manifestation of the words, which is different from speaking slowly, because even then one is only slowing down on the surface but the underlying process is still proceeding at the same speed I can see how I, within myself, react to situations. Here I have noticed that it is within the interaction itself, rather than what I want to express (and may not be able to), manipulation and deception is accepted by me and the other party. It is this process that eventually, through repetition, charges each word I say.

From the perspective of my process I find this an amazing discovery because this makes a few points clear to me:

1) During the word formation, for example when I have used the words of my new language for a few times, an emotional/feeling charge can build up (if I don’t stop it) from the situations in which I have spoken these words. The emotional/feeling charge seems to easily take on a prominent position, overriding the essence of what it is that I want to express – that which is still here without the words.  Hence, I can see that all the words I so easily spew out in my other languages are full of emotional/feeling charges that leave no room for self-expression.

The solution: Redefinition of  words to eliminate the emotional/feeling charges.

2) Finally I have seen that I am self-expression somewhere buried inside. I only have a glimpse but I see that I do not need the mind to be here.

The solution: Equalise the mind so that self-expression can flow freely, and language is the living word. The living word is self-expression.

3) We are defining ourselves through the interaction with others, through the energetic charge words span the relations of our ships. Relationships are primarily charged through what seems to be an ‘exchange’ with others. Although this exchange is not really exchanging anything, it is a ‘charging station’ where each for themselves charges in the face of the other.

The solution: Taking self-responsibility – to step out of the trap of self-interest and learn to stand equal to each word that I utter – and thus have the prerequisites to get to know another.

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2012 Anusian musings: Change of the unchangeable

In a recent interview by Anu I gained clarity on a particular topic. A topic that has been hovering in the background, waiting – I was waiting for myself to step out, to end the uncertainties about it, not to shy away from it and to get clarity once and for all. Here it goes:

Within numerous contexts, the world around me has reiterated that humans’ life on earth is getting better. Generally speaking, people have longer life expectancies; more people than ever before have access to medical support; more people than ever are literate; more babies than ever survive; more people than ever have clean water – and lastly, I have heard that we all live like kings compared to just a couple of 100 years ago.  Some people have made entire career out of providing the necessary statistical proof that we are in fact evolving and that life on earth, in general, is much better than it used to be (see Hans Rosling’s video for a review). Sure, there are problems but we seem to tackle these sooner or later because we have technologies and knowledge to do so.

On the contrary,  Desteni research has shown that the same basic components of war, abuse, terror, greed, self-interest are operating, like the stagnate components of a machine, keeping us in place although the wheels are spinning. When looking at the opposing pole of our wealth and well-being, we can equally recognise an augmentation of our abusive dimension as well: the hunting of animals till extinction, human trafficking and sex slave trade, the Gaza strip occupation, serial killings disguised as humanitarian wars, the sell out of education, the vaccination of babies and the distribution of psychopharmaca as candy, and so forth. How do these facts tally up when the world wants to make us believe that we are so much better of?

When I listened to Anu’s interview it dawned on me:

“…through my investigations in the very beingness of beings found that within our very presence, essence, substance, manifestation… there is constant change…. and …change meaning there is movement, there is evolution, there is development, there is growth, we are always constantly and continuously in constant change….ehm.. just by our very existence and interactions with existence, there is constant motion of alteration and change….. and if something is too perfect for an extended amount of time, that is questioned because it is not equal to and one with the constant change that is existent as our very selves, our beingness, that would want to come through that perfection and break through it …and… show that it is not real, where our very beingness will supersede the fake reality..”

What Anu is stating is that beyond the mind, beyond the programming we have accepted as us, we are always in change, that change is a constant of our beingness which penetrates the mental entrapment in which we exist.  If we were to discover that there is no change – what Anu called “too perfect” – or what can also be seen as ‘stagnation’, we would become suspicious of our enslaved existence, and may figure out that things are not what they seem. Thus, Anu had to create the illusion of change, which we would then accept as actual change so that our beingness was satisfied. We are therefore less inclined to investigate the reality we are living and creating, because we are living the change of the unchangeable.

The change of the unchangeable permeates all cultural pursuits, all technology, all literature, all music, all communication – all life styles. We experience a change of form, a change of parameters that determine the form, but the essence never changes. From magic circle story telling to social networking – the dimensionality of the form has changed because we have gone from analogue sound waves as spoken words that bounce back and forth between those who sit in the circle, around the fire, listening, waiting, until it’s their turn to tell…  to the story bits and pieces that are thrown up on a website as digitized visual display of binary code and shared with hundreds of virtual friends. Yet, the involved personality constructs, the manipulation through phrasing of word or story fragments, the packaged moralistic condemnations  –  all that which leads and constitutes ‘communication’ of the story  as well as the story content itself, remains stagnant and unchangeable.

I invite you to look at other topics and apply the formula of change of the unchangeable ( for example to movies) and see that Anu has given us another brick in our self-endorsed wall we now take apart and return to source. Interesting times are ahead where we will be living as actual change of the changeable – and that begins with establishing total equality between all that is here.

To de-brick start here: www.desteniiprocess.com

For literature and sounds that uncover the changeable read here: www.eqafe.com


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2012 – Time to get off the drug!

The love and light community insists and persists in this year’s ascension. Well, for now. This is in spite of many overtly incongruent issues around this idea which point to a self-created belief system that is not based in reality but is entirely make-belief. A kind of drug of the mind induced through imagination, or also called visualisation, by those who are enamored with the idea of escape into ‘positive thinking’ to find relief from reality – similar to pharmaceutical drugs which give us relief from the symptoms of physical illness.

A powerful indicator that the mind will use make-belief in many circumstance of un-ease is the application of placebo therapy which has proven to treat a number of peripheral disease processes by making the patient feel better. What placebo therapy cannot do is treat actual physical illnesses such as venous leg ulcers, Crohn’s disease, urinary tract infection, or chronic heart failure. In other words, placebo only works when the mind is implicated but cannot produce any results when the physical reality of the body is at stake. The physical reality of the body is also the reality that we breath, move, and communicate in every day of our lives. Hence this is why starving people are not ‘cured’ by the ascension.

Consequently, what is real about this ascension graze is that it is a reaction to a dis-eased reality, one that desperately needs treatment from all of us to get any measurable results for betterment. To create viable self-change and therefore societal change, ascension is a haphazard to everyone’s health because like all drugs it promotes the continuation of our dis-eased reality. Ascension, or the relief-from-reality-drug is the placebo for perceived change which works by continuously strengthening the belief that one has indeed changed oneself, even though those who take this drug exhibit even more inertia and acceptance of all things abusive in our society – and all this while chanting the slogan: “we are all one”.

As time passes, one is increasingly exposed to others who disseminate the drug, and who will exert their power of persuasion over those who are just in the beginning stages.  Beginners might still be unsure because there are no physical signs of it working, except for the dedicated fashion style and paraphernalia, such as crystals, dream catchers, special beads, metals, oils and so forth – but will eventually let their skill of critical reflection wane into no-man’s land.

Critical reflection would indicate that one is skeptical about some of the ascension attributes, and ask a number of questions to outline for oneself a more accurate picture of what is going on here, instead of jumping on the band wagon just because other people have done the same. Not to mention that there are many historical examples where this kind of collective jumping was a fatal choice to make.

Indeed, this should be one’s first question:

Am I getting into ascension because all these other (nice) people are into it, and they must know what they are doing, even if I don’t know?

More questions that might put a person on their way to recovery and reinstate critical reflection are:

No other so-called spiritual departure has come to fruition why should this one be any different? One may recall 2011 judgement day where many were convinced that they would be leaving the world as we know it. No one left of course and judgement day was postponed – without any doubt the same thing will be happening on December 21, 2012.

How come Tibetan monks are not preparing us for ascension? Tibetan monks have been working in the spiritual realm for centuries and have sufficient spiritual mileage on the ascension meter. Recall that they are able to pick out the next Dalai Lama from hundreds of children, hence these monks would be able to pin-point all details involved in ascension. Instead, the love and light community has to rely on vague ancient Mayan scriptures for the interpretation of ascension details, such as the date.

Why is the vocabulary on ascension not consistent depending on who is talking about ascension? If I say table to anyone in the room here, or anywhere else in the world (in their respective language of course), everyone would immediately have the same reference. This is not so with the ascension community. Words like ego, soul, higher self and so forth are moving targets when it comes to a definition.

Get off the drug and roll up your physical sleeves – change yourself and change the world – because all are indeed one, which means all are free or none are free. Oneness and equality is the way forward. Question your perceived reality, and come and question us @ http://www.desteni.org –  join the forum.

Otherwise, find reading and listening pleasure on the topic of oneness and equality @ http://www.eqafe.com


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How translating Equal Money FAQ texts supports our agreement

Last night as I was sitting down with Gabriel to work on the next French translation of one of the Equal Money FAQs, I realised that doing this work assists us together and individually in multiple ways. Collaborating with Gabriel on these translations is interesting because we are both teacher and student to each other. Although our French skills are on different levels, they are intermittent in complimentary ways.  This gives us the opportunity to discover new terminology, or aspects of tweaking an expression, together.

The translation becomes the central item for interaction where we position ourselves as equals around it. Our roles within that are not pre-defined which requires ongoing awareness of one’s allowed and accepted reactions according to what we have learned from pre-programmed roles in education. In other words, when one is in the student role one easily slips into ways of communicating with inferiority. Likewise, when one is in the role of teaching, the pre-programmed default is to communicate from a place of superiority. Therefore not being established and locked into a role in one’s interaction heightens one’s awareness to detect subtle manipulations, to see when there might be a momentary oscillation going on between a teacher-student and student-teacher reaction, and stand up to correct oneself in breath.

In addition, we support each other as we both approach learning in different ways.  In the process of translating a text, I like to take a moment and thoroughly investigate the different aspects of a term or phrase, which is predicated by having gained an in-depth view on all facets of use of the expression in question. Gabriel on the other hand stresses pronunciation and intonation in much detail.  The result is that these varying emphases, of how we like to learn, are reflective of our strengths and enable us to lift each other up equally.

Then there is the content of the FAQ that assists as well. When translating from one language to another, no aspect of understanding is taken for granted.  Direct translation is often nonsensical and to express the sense of the original in the language to be translated requires one to have a full grasp on the concept that is being conveyed.

Sometimes the nuances of meaning are quite subtle but utterly important in the context of Destonian research. With detailed reviewing of each phrase that is up for translation, I have noticed that new insights come to the forefront as well. Yesterday for example we translated “Can you profit from equality?” In answering the FAQ, Bernard points out that the profit of equality is in the fact that the future is predictable, in that you will have everything you ever needed and wanted.

My new insight here is this: We are pre-programmed beings, and we are born into this world to execute a complex program that is linked to the three minds (conscious, sub- and unconscious), to the collective, and to our ancestors. What will happen to this aspect of our existence in an Equal Money System is that pre-programming is deferred from the mind to the physical. As we let go of the mental pre-programming through the DesteniIProcess, we become creators of our reality – the living word which arises moment-by-moment through breath. Indeed, we become free of the mind!

By contrast, utlising the concept of pre-programming for the physical aspects of our existence, to warrant the phrase “to be taken care of from birth to death”, we create physical freedom because we contain the limitations of our three-dimensional reality so that we can only profit from them- thus pre-programming is the compliment to create our complete freedom from the mind!

Like many of the other Destonian campaigns I have been part of – each one comes to me bearing a gift that I would not want to miss. If you want to experience what I am talking about – simply join us! We are here and we invite you!

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Creating my life through the DesteniIProcess

I have been asking myself if the agreement with Gabriel might have been a pre-programmed situation. The reason for asking myself this question has been twofold. First, we seem to be quite compatible in a basic way of being. Don’t get me wrong I can see that this agreement is taking me apart which is beyond what I was experiencing in my process when I was on my own. I can see that the perceived peaceful inner state I was experiencing then is now in chaos most of the time which means that it was not real, and this is requiring me to look at my issues in much more depth than before.

Second, the timing could not have been better to start an agreement. I had finished my studies and both Gabriel and I had to move from our old flats. In my case I had to move countries because of the enormous cost of living in the UK. It all fit just a tad too well for me not to be skeptical about it. Yet, in the beginning when he and I first met and an agreement was on the table, I dealt with much anxiety of fear of loss of my independence. I had not reckoned with an agreement any time soon and was quite satisfied with my ‘single’ status.

The other day, I mentioned the pre-programmed aspect to Gabriel, who said to me that it is a matter of ceasing one’s opportunity as these open up. After reflecting on this for some time now, I see what he means and found that “ceasing one’s opportunity” comes into play as part of the DesteniIprocess where we learn to make decisions on the basis of a non-energetic state.

I will explain this on a pertinent real-life example. In May of this year, when I was going through the last stages of examination regarding my studies, I was presented with a highly probable opportunity for a job, which entailed becoming part of a research team in a small town in France. At the time, when this opportunity presented itself I was having to cope with things on multiple fronts. I did not want to make a decision out of a situation where I had no clarity in terms of what I wanted to do after my studies once these had been entirely completed, meaning all the last examinations had been done and dusted, and I was free to review my situation. However, the deadline of applying for this job meant I had to furnish the research team with an immediate response. Granted that there were other issues with this job but this was the biggest one. Thus my answer to this opportunity was “no, thank you”.

Some of my colleagues did not understand how I could have let such an opportunity slip through my fingers. Given the economic situation and the overall factor of how interesting this post would have been, from the outside it certainly looked like I was being foolish to let it go. Had this been years ago, before I started the DesteniIprocess, I would have been probably too fearful to say ‘No’ even if I really wanted to. I would have been afraid of how difficult it would be to find a suitable job and would have convinced myself to take it because of my inferior position towards the point of being without work.

This is not to say that I am fearless when it comes to not having a job and making money, or that I do not long for security. What it says is that my starting point for making a decision has changed and that, in this instance, I did not operate from my typical pre-programmed way of acting in the world that I know has influenced my previous decisions on jobs and matters of having to do with being secure in the system.

If we look at the trajectory that follows, having not ceased this job opportunity, I was able to cease the agreement opportunity because I was still in the UK at the time when Gabriel came to participate in a business meeting. This enabled us to meet up and connect in physical space, which later prompted the agreement. Ceasing an opportunity from the starting point of self rather than from the starting point of pre-programmed reaction, then let me create my life where I was able to choose an agreement with another, and begin to investigate myself in relation to intimacy and shared living with other Destonians. Hence it was through the DesteniIprocess that I was able to change my life situation.

Since I started the DesteniIprocess I have understood that every breath is accumulative in the process of creating my life and that these decisions are really composed of minute moment-to-moment maneuvers in the world. Only if I understand who I am here in every moment can I become self-directive and stand as a self, as one and equal to all that is here.


Filed under agreement, self-forgiveness